Monday, November 21

' I STILL LOVE YOU' NOT.

Hey people. As promised, my main blog will be a happy blog, as i want to divert some irritating stalkers away from this blog. Well, gonna do some emotion dumping here.

Firstly, kinda got mixed messy feelings nowadays. My heart says i still love you, but i have no idea is it stilll as strong. Maybe somehow it just became a habit to think that i still love you, but truly do i still love you? But the reason i kept holding on also. I was hoping someday somehow i don't know how, i'll be able to touch you or something. Maybe you will recall all the sweet memories, yea maybe i have no idea how.
'Maybe i'm not good enough afterall.

That day at the chalet, i texted him. My guts just lead me to it without my brain and heart knowing why. No idea was it a mistake, but we had lots to say. You were caring, nice as always. And we texted everyday.

Recently, i don't feel the same level of excitment when like i have a chance to go out with you. I still wanna go but it's not as strong anymore. No idea is it called feelings fading, cause i'm so used to saying i still love you. But in actual fact, i'm really confused.

What can i expect, after 3 years, ur heart still to come back to me? 
I feel contradicted doing such a stupid thing, but my heart chooses this complicated path.
I really have no position to say anything when i find out that your crush is a friend that i'm quite close to.


JUST SPEECHLESS.

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