Cleching my fist, gritting my teeth, fighting back tears.

Piano: Waiting for you.
Grr, my fingers ar very stiff ahhh. Cause stress playing under the camera, will do a better one next time! :D


-Pardon me for the poor grammer and little range of vocab, i did my best :)

But as i typed this compo out, my heart is aching, like shit.

“To my Dearest, even though the memories have faded, you’re never off my mind.”

He was my perfect lover, someone whom I felt I could rely on. Its fate that we met, and became from strangers to friends. Coincidently, you happened to be my soul mate and we moved on to lovers. Four months of bitter sweet memories, quarrels and laughters, are worth recalling. Having your love was everything that I needed, I was deeply in love with your imperfections and to me; you’re one in a million.

Everything just changed and ended. Holding on tightly to the gifts from you, I cried my heart out bitterly. A fairytale just ended without a happily ever after. I recalled the day when you went overseas; I called you at the night. I just finished my dance performance, the concert which you failed to attend. Walking away from my friends, I walked to a quiet corner and made a phone call to you. I’m so glad you picked up the call, I really am. Your flight was about to departure, I quickly bided goodbye. Promises were made, still I knew I’ll be worried sick about you when you’re gone. I knew how badly I would miss you.

“Remember to take good care of yourself, darling I love you.” These words drifted through the phone.

Counting down, missing you more as each day passes. It was a long a dreadful week for me, without someone to text, someone to complain to and someone to share my happiness. Silently, I prayed every night that you would remember your promises, and are doing fine.

One morning, my phone rang. I knew today you would be back; hence, everywhere I went I made sure my phone was never out of sight. You were back, but everything seemed to have changed. You took so long to reply my messages, and all I could do all day was to wait for my phone to light up but it never really did. After which I found out that you were sick, and immediately sent you another text and asked you to rest well. You never really replied all of my text messages, I wondered what happened. Were you that sickly to at least reply a message to ease my worry? I checked my phone through and fro, but to no avail. All these were greeted by a sudden message of break-up from you. That message really sent me to crying out a sea.

As you said it was the only solution, I had to agree to it unwillingly. I tried my best to place myself in your shoes and kept telling myself to not blame you. But deep inside my heart, it is hurting and I’m crying bitterly, refusing to let go.a

Months passed, what angered me most was to find out the truth. I really wondered what did I meant to you this few months? How much of those words you say can I really trust? Have you ever loved me truly? If you do, why did you break all those promises made, and sent my heart shattering into pieces? You left me hanging, drifting and floating on the empty blue sea. Its too far from shore, I could either slowly float back or wait for you to safe me from here. You made me love you, and you said goodbye and fled the scene. All the memories so close to me just faded away, all these time you were pretending, so much for my happy ending.

It was been months passed since we broke up, but every 15th; the date where we linked our hearts, all the memories just rushes back. All those happy memories, I’m wondering if you still remember any of them. I will never forget them, till the day where you bid an official goodbye, it is time for me to let go.

AWAY ; M.I.P :D

Mugging i Process.

Had 3 hours of sleep yesterday. Gonna sleep at 10.30 today, tired max. Spam uploaded photos on facebook and some here on blogger. ENJOY! :D During the BBQ on 23rd April 2011 :)
SA1 is coming, i guess i'll go on Hiatus :D Do tag more often peeps! ;)
JIAYOUS EVERYONE, MUGGGG!

Time flies .

I look like a rabbit! xD

Today went for dance. Super hiong i must say. Its like a super fast song, plus like 1 beat 2 actions. Jacky say he like my flare yeayeayea! :D Its a power song. when i'm determined to do something, i'll do it well! ^^ Dinner with yuelong, jasmine and rongrong. :D Short h2h with rongrong, guys ah guys. YueLong was listening to our conversation until so scary lor! xD

Sometimes i wish you knew all this. The memories are fading, but my feelings have never faded. I have before all the memories have faded, new ones can be created. I seriously wish very very hard every 11:11. No matter what, boy i'm waiting for you ;)

At night was ironing my clothes. :X Spent 1 hour doing that. After that did proposal, and bio project, blogging about the past three days. my last post before i move on to some homeworks and off to bed! :D

Its just friggin' love, i won't let it kill me so easily. I still have a burning passion, dance!

You always don't reply, and it really makes me wonder alot.

I believe, just one day .

I miss you.

Woke up late, sat taxi to school.

Had touch NDP training, learnt to fold balloons today. Actually, it should be, taught the juniors how to fold balloons :) HEHE, i managed a bear and a pig, its super cute seriously. Pictures with xintao, trying to get it and will upload it ASAP.

You know what, i wanted to give you that pig actually ...

Well, training started at 10, ended at 12. I'm reminded of the times where we come to school every sat morning in the hall to train :x No more, no more. Went lunch with xintao and jiasiang at mac, she treat me ^^

Went back to school, slack in canteen with Zavier. EHH, did some homework la ! :D His iPhone connection super slow, so i spent most of the time waiting for the twitter to load! xD ZhiLin came, they went point help me and kailin buy bubbletea, then kailin came too. Meet haikal outside school, and sat bus 88 to Pasir Ris interchange :)

Reached Pasir Ris park, went Carpark C to meet Derrick and Lionel help thm carry the BBQ things. Went to our Pit 30, long walk. Unpacked, played with zhilin's AWESOME DSLR. Then started to start fire. HOHO, i just realised its pretty difficult to start fire at the beach cause the sea breeze is super strong, especially with match sticks! xD Borrowed lighter, after much attempts finally started the fire! :D BBQ !! :)

Photos photos photos, flew the kite too. Calvin, amantha, jiayin, rebecca was here too. At night zaver gave our light sticks :D Sat by the coast, listen to the peaceful waves. Plus zhilin beside me playing emo music, i started emo-ing. It feels so good, so relax :) Afterall, pasir ris park, theres too much beautiful memories here.

Then zhilin shout, organiser of this BBQ, time to pack up! then i ignore. Him : ER HM ER HM! Me : okayyyyyyyyyy! .... then wiped my tears and went to pack up! :b It was a long walk from the park back to Pasir Ris interchange, as everyone was super tired. Saw KeFei & Sabrina on the way, Sabrina forgotten about the HLC gathering! :(

ZhiLin whole day keep saying kukubird la! Amantha's slipper broke. Went to get a new one for her. Everyone took bus 88 back. The journey back was so much faster than the journey there :)

Reached home, bathed and went straight to sleep.

Scream 4!

Today woke up around 10, went kovan to do bank transfer to the BBQ thing. Have no idea why i go until so far de bank! xD Meet YiJian @ Heartland mall, and took mrt to The Cathay. He had his lunch at Popeyes, while waiting for others to come. Shaun, Kevin.K, Brian and Bryan came. Took so long to finally decide on a movie and buy the tickets. Bought 6 tickets for scream 4, its NC16. Shaun bought it and we passed! xD when to walk walk around the cathay, darren came. Went up to get another ticket for him, he got the seat 15. LOLS, nice number ... And he didn't dare to buy, so i had to help him buy. And i passed, i'm not old ok! xD i think the security really damn loose la, the person saw brian lim and bryan chiang but just let them pass also! xD Went 7-eleven then slack at the staircase outside 7-eleven. HMM, pinch! COLOUR, pink, purple! xD 1 hour ... Then about time, went up. I think its because its a public holiday, hence the place was flooded. You need to queue to get into the cinema! xD Each person chip in abit bought popcorns and 2 drinks.

The movie wasss... lousy. xD Its rated 2 out of 5. :/ but its somewhat commedy instead of horror. But the fact that i do get a shock when the killer suddenly juts appear and stab the person, and blood ooze out. =x and i cover my eyes, xD I actually stand up my hand on my face, just letting two holes for my eyes so when i know the scary part is coming, i just close my fingers. xD But the ending was seriously stupid. :b

MRT-ed to Newton, took bus to the church. YiJian left. Watched the performance, a drama then prayer. Was listening attentively thinking that something meaningful will could out, cause it sounds like those big humanlogy, but ended up telling us, to believe in God. But as least, i had a learning point, i finally knew what was Good Friday for :) Ended around 9 plus 10. Oh ya, justin lim and joanne came for the church thing too :) They 2 so sweet ya :D then justin sent joanne home, while we went to some fast food restuarant for dinner. :D

MRT-ed back home. Brian so cute lah, at little india he saw the mrt wall with a poster that have alot of flamingo inside. He suddenly stop and say : "HEYHEY..!" xD and points to the wall. like just walk walk walk and suddenly stop sia, make me jerk. Then i turn and see what, flamingoes! xD Then they ask me to reunite with my family to flamingoes there. xD

Reached home, bathed and read abit of bio and went to bed. My friday holiday just passed like this! :D

FALLEN.

Specially for my dancers! <3

Totally filled with disappointment today.
Shall not elaborate much about my day.

Chinese dance got BRONZE. BRONZE. BRONZE. Everyone was, blanked. F*.
No idea how are we gonna accept that, but i guess we just have to and move on. Trust me, i cried for an hour and my eyes fels so dry now -.- Mrs Cheng and Mr Ng (P!) came and talk to us, the dancers couldn't stop crying. Its a feeling of disappointment, taken aback and shocked, and lastly, sadness. I guess me, shiqi and cheryl cry until the most jia lat one! then i see eric and junren at the side of the hall BBOY-ing, then like laugh laugh luaugh. Laugh what laugh la, never see people cry before? You never cry before meh?! SIGHS, i ate alot alot for dinner k. Including my fav can't be missed strawberry sundae, also ate chocolates :) So many people saw my teary face! :( Went ISH watch people play soccer. Was trying to appreciate the art of soccer but wenle keep on shuaii ge me ! -.- HAH, it was a teachers vs students game and mr sunny ng was playing. Jay also playing, damn funny. JOSEPH, MINGKANG, HAIKAL, all playing, the rest then i don't knw them le :b So me, cheryl, wenle and yihan just kuku-ly sat inside and watch.

After that me and yihan go hall emo. The hall is filled with sweat, joy, hardships, and today, tears. SHI JIE BIAN ZHONG LE, WO MEN JUE ZHONG LE! :( Took bus home with her. Was indirectly chatting with brandon through their sweet smses again! xD

Reached home. Daddy showed no interest after knowing i got Bronze. He says it as though Bronze jiu bronze lor, so what. What does he know sia, how much effort did we put in. Trainings one week 6 times. Everyday commiting till 6 o'clock for chinese dance.

Well, its rather a sensitive topic now. Everyone is cheering us up, and we know we can cry now but definitely need to be strong and stand up after a good rest! Everyone's consolingus with the same words, like you guys did your best. But P(rincpal) said in is heart, we're a Gold. That's good enough :) We are the first school that wang lao shi taught to get bronze. In her history, all other schools managed to clinch at least a silver and many golds. But i really think we at least deserved a silver. I need to sleep early today, my eyes feeling extremely weak. Thats all, nights folks.

No more Arts Fiesta, gonna make sure i do my GRB Banquet performance well, and maybe next year's chinese new year performance well before i step down!

Eh you, yes la you! Thank you for these few days, you really cheered me up. Although you didn't really express much, but when you text me i very happy liao! :D I hope it continues to be this way :) At least i know that you care :b

HAPPY SYF 2011! :D

The spiral staircase of memories.

Really active on twitter and blogger recently :D Mainly due to the this main happening
called SYF. Well, today's the day! :D



Had permission to skip school the whole day today. Stayed in voicebox to do our make-up. EEE, cause i no eyebrown then teacher go draw my eyebrown until so scary! :( I prefer my hairless eyebrown! xD I realised i got funny features, my lips are like super duper thin! xD and i've got double eye lids that look like single cause they fold in! I've got a long neck, and defined cheeks that stands out everytime i take photos. HAH! i understand my face so well! xD Well, enough of crappings. Everyone was done with their make-up, went canteen after the 2nd swiss recess people had cleared to get our lunch. Then went back dance one time in voice box, bus came already. Quickly rushed to hall to do one more time with the actual spacings. and rushed down cause the bus was here already. I gave my best cause it was the last rehearsal, and made me sweated like pig! :b made my make-up smurge abit! xD

















pretty tensed up on the bus, i think thats why i sprained my neck! :X Cannot turn to the right, like how awesome is that. Massaging didn't help, so i just anyhow crack crack crack and have no choice but to bear with it during the performance! :b We were abit late when we reached, registered, bought to the holding area. And vey fast our turn already. Encouraged each other, all the huggings and moral support, off we went. I was freaking nervous, maybe cause i knew the spotlight was on me, and this means i can't afford to make any mistakes, it was pressure and stress.

The competition was .... OKAY! :D Lao Shi said it was very well done! :)





On the journey back school, everyone was superb tired. The loud commotion after the exciting competition slowly quieten down as everyone fell asleep soundly on the bus.



School as sweet as Home. Changed out our costumes, removed make-up and i went to wash away my super gel (ed) hair. It feels so great! :D Went Hougang Plaza KBox with WenLe, ShiQi, Cheryl, ShuFen & MeiLian.

It started with sad emo songs and then ended with alot english songs. Eg. BARBIE GIRL, BABY, LOVE STORY, TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE, HIGHHIGH, ANTHONY NEELY (<3)'s SORRY THAT I LOVED YOU, WANGZI (<3)'s DU BU QI! AHHH! ... and everyone started shouting. Don't know how sing also anyhow!

LIFE IN PLASTIC, ITS FANTASTIC! xD

HHAHAHAHAHAAHAA!
LOLOLOLOLOLO!
HAHAHAHA!
We didn't use our microphones much as we found it uncomfortable, but still everyone's voices were power max! :D Today not much SHUAII GE, and we totally kuku omg! xD MALUUUUU!







Went dinner with ShuFen & Cheryl @ Kopitiam. After that got my strawberry sundae (<3) from mac. Slacked around the stage there while we discussed about our competition today :) Really really scared of the results, cause got a few schools we seen today quite strong also! :X Oh ya, i saw liu lao shi today (my nan chiau pri sch teacher, and that teacher which was in charge of D.I. in chingay! :D), he teached nan hua high! :o Chat chat chat, took mrt home :)

Reached home, uploaded photos on facebook and came to blog. Wished really really hard during 11:11. Alot of math homeworks to do, and i don't even know how to start cause i'm lost as really tired these few days during lesson! :X Totally couldn't concentrate. Maybe i should ask teacher give me longer deadline, and sleep earlier today and be energetic for school tmr, that sounds better! :D Rather than be tired everyday!

The results will be out tomorrow, gathering all dancers outside hall. Results out at 2, but i told ou lao shi not to tell us until 2.45 if she knew the results. And i have no mood to study now cause i'm freaking anxious about it.

Today you texted me, you wished me good luck. I rememeber last year duing my birthday, it was around the alot projects 'period', you wished me happy birthday on MSN :b You know what? Yesterday i washing my eyes when i sleeping, and today my left eye swollen, looks smaller! If you look at the photo close enough can see! xD I thought i could spent our birthdays today, spent 15th0811 together, spent 11.11.11, 11:11 together. But never did i expect that goodnight was the last special one.

SYF EVE .

Today we performed for swiss. We received much positive responses as compared to the performance for express. Which encouraged us pretty much! :D Thank you swiss peeps. missed our 2 geog periods, so didn't had to present our wonderful Gabions project. After school was intensive intensive training again. Dance until leg really wobbly. I hate no choice but to put bandage on my knee today, cause as a support when i kneel, cause really pain! :( OH ya, i'm so happy i woke up at 0430 today, actually 0428, thanks to channnnshqii who morning called me! ^^ Train until 5+6, then went mall with dancers.

Went to get some cosmetics for tomorrow and went to get socks! xD Cause got another school thy never wear socks then the judge minus marks! Oh ya,

guzheng ensemble got gold awards, you guys did well! :D

GOOD JOB! :) Went dinner with shufen.

The anklung music stuck in the chinese dancers head. It was so real that we thought hougang mall had some anklung performance also. It was then when we walked to the FairPrice and could still hear it, and realised it was unreal. OMG, not only me ley, everyone! But some only awhile and fade liao. But it made me, shiqi and cheryl headache like sh!t -.- Now my mind feels very blank, once i try to think something then will hurt like shi!t. Why of all times now! :( , i thinking maybe anklung got some black magic. Hope after a good night tonight tomorrow will be better¬ :D

Tomorrow is SYF le. The most excited and fearful day of 2011 (i suppose) finally came. 20th April 2011, i remember SYF 2009 was also on 20th April! :D I believe we can do it dancers! :) Let's clinch an Gold award back too, each one of you must always remember you're special in your own way! You're the prettest on stage! :D GOGOGOGOGOGOGOOOOO! :))

Tomorrow after SYF going KBOX with shufen,shiqi, wenle and cheryl! :D Skipping service learning training &&, tmr skipping school whole day. Finally my mind can take a break! :b But damn lots of math homeworks due, okay gambatteh, NIGHTS! :D